I would like to dispel the illusion that I am super Mom. Most of my ideas, recipes, crafts, and photos are recreations of another's genius. I, unlike most Mom's, however am able to stay at home all day everyday and think of cool things to do with my children. Since my membership to facebook began I have enjoyed, nay, thorougly relished kudos from all of my friends. Until now I have been too cowardly to admit that I am a fraud. Now that I've grown tiny balls I would like to share with you how to become an UberMommyLicious.
Undoubtedly my highest praised creation has been my cakes. It is killing me to write this, but they have all been ridiculously easy to make. If you are like our family; low on funds yet want to make your child's celebration unforgettable, then an awesome cake is the way to go. You must first come up with a theme for the party. Then all you have to do is go to familyfun.com/go, click on the recipes tab, and peruse the plethera of unique cake and cupcake recipe photo galleries. If they don't have exactly what you are looking for then google it and I'm sure there is another how-to website available.
My amateur photographs have also been recognized with great regard. It tastes like vinegar to say this, but again not Wendi-originals. I am an imagination thief. For the actual poses, props, and/or backgrounds I've stolen from numerous sources. Horrid, I know. The wonderful thing is, you can too! All I do is google "Professional Photographers" and browse their galleries! Then recreate the photos I like in my own home or yard. When I'm feeling energetic I dress my children nicely, go to local parks (I love the ones with ponds or water fountains), and let them play while a snap away. Don't be a perfectionist...just get as many shots as possible. You will be amazed at how much you can edit! There are things you can do to make your photos better: #1 Get on your knees! Taking pics at your child's level or lower makes for a 100% better shot. #2 Outdoors has the best light for any camera. Sunshine=photographic masterpieces. #3 There are certain pictures every child needs in their album or scrapbook- spaghetti face, hooded towel, fancy dress or suit, bath in the sink, and just their tootsies. For editing I upload my photos to picnik.com/app. They have everything from basic edits like cropping to breathtaking effects dubbed Ortan-ish. Don't be afraid to play around, use more than one effect, and add stickers or a frame. You can always undo or start from scratch.
Finally, everyone is in a constant state of amazement at the number of "adventures" we have. I can take credit for that. I am in perpetual pursuit of fun, free, child-friendly, outdoor destinations. It's too easy to pack some pb+j's and juice boxes and load your turd sandwiches in the car. Everytime I drive somewhere I keep my eyes peeled for new parks and playgrounds we have yet to explore. Most local museums are free! I know this sounds crazy, but the internet can be used for more than facebook. Yes, I have been known to stray from the social network to google things like "Top 10 Parks in CO" or "Wicked awesome places to take my kids." Try it! Stop staying inside cleaning the house! When you die do you want your children and grandchildren to say "Her house was always spotless" or "She made life an adventure."
Before I close I would like to add a few more things. I still have a book from the on-post library I took out more than a year ago. (They should really charge late fees.) When I spend too much time on facebook I serve my family Hamburger Helper for dinner. I frequent thrift stores like Goodwill (and Knit Wits in downntown Fountain, CO has used children's clothing AND homemade bows for girls!) and can honestly say my children rarely wear brand new clothing. Most of the time I get Joey off to the bus and go back to bed. My favorite tv show is Phineas and Ferb. There are times I go 3 days without showering. When the floor is dirty instead of sweeping I put flip-flops on so I don't get anything stuck to my feet. I'm frequently seen in the front yard, wearing nothing but a bath robe, digging dandelions out of the grass with a spoon. There is currently an M.I.A turd in my house and instead of looking for it I'm writing this blog.
